Saturday, April 18, 2009

Two-way


I know all you moms will totally understand what I am trying to articulate in this post.....the deepening of your love for you child. Isn't it amazing how it continues to grow and grow? I feel like a new chapter is starting. The connection and bond I had with Lily during her infancy were initially based in my ability to meet her needs for survival and comfort and acclimation into this world. It was an amazing role to fill - totally humbling and miraculous.

This new thing I am feeling is closer to relationships I know now -- a two-way relationship where we both contribute and give and receive and evaluate and change and compromise. Like a friendship. Like a marriage. Like mother and child, I guess.

I honestly laugh as hard with Lily as I do with my best friends. We have conversations now (about snacks and animals and crayons - but i am good with that). We know each others buttons - and push them. We want to make quick amends with each other - and we do what it takes to make things good. I can tell she gives consideration to my feelings, just as I do for her.

I know this is different than friendship. I do understand that I can't be lily's friend right now. But it is the closest thing i can compare it to.

I would totally seek her out in gym class. I would totally want to be her friend. And I think she feels the same way. We generally really like each other. She is one of my very favorite people - and I get to hang out with her every day. How cool is that?

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