Saturday, January 23, 2010

Letters Continued

Dear Lily Love,

I am taking in these last few days that I have with you as my only child. Although Ben has been hanging out with us for the past 9 months, I've still been able to focus on you completely - with all my heart, my energy and my attention. I know things are about the change and I just want to tell you a few things about the past three years - the best years of my life.

Finding out that I was pregnant with you was a thrill I so anticipated. From day one, you were a sweet baby. You were kind to me during pregnancy and I enjoyed every moment, every pound, every change in my body. I loved being pregnant with you. It was a miracle. And the delivery was the most amazing thing I have ever done or been a part of. AMAZING. Your father and I still talk about had so much energy and literally pushed yourself into this world. I felt such a connection with you as we worked together to get you here - and the second you joined our world, breathing our air - life changed. Again, a miracle.   I remember telling the nurses that labor was "fun". Maybe I was a little crazy in that moment, but every moment since then has been fun, so why not labor?

Since then, you have filled every day with more love than I ever thought possible. You were a kind baby - so patient with my roller-coaster emotions, so thoughtful and generous with your affection. You taught me how to be a mother - I truly believe that I learned more than you did in those first few months. Like an old soul, you helped me through my transition in to parenthood with gentle compassion. God gave you to me because he knew you would take care of me - a funny twist on things.

All the milestones and firsts were thrilling to experience with you. And, the pride I feel for you is overflowing - all the time. Every day you give us reason to be proud of the person you are becoming. And, you know what is really cool? I really like you. I do. I think you are super cool. I want to hang out with you because you make me a better person, and I love looking at the world through your eyes.

It is an absolute honor and blessing to be your mom. Sometimes I really can't believe how lucky I am to have you. Thank you for choosing me. I am the luckiest mom in the world.

Thank you for allowing me to make mistakes. For getting it wrong sometimes. For your forgiveness when I really mess it up. And, thank you for those "aha" moments when I get it right. I learn so much about me through you. You have made me a better person and I can only hope that I can influence you in the same ways.

Most of all, thank you for the hugs and kisses and "I love you's". Thank you for the hundreds of nights we've rocked together in the rocking chair. Thank you for holding my hands even though you are old enough to walk alone. Thank you for running into my arms everyday at school. Thank you for telling me that I am beautiful. 

I am going to do my best to make this transition positive for all of us. We have so much to be excited about. But I will deeply miss what we have now - just you and me. For certain, our lives are about to get even better asa we make room for one more gift......good thing we both like presents.

I promise I will always find a special moment of time for just the two of us - everyday - for girl talk and snuggles. And I will never, never forget how you changed my life. 

I love you angel,


Tracy Woodard said...

Tears, rolling down my cheeks. That was beautiful. You are amazing.

Anonymous said...

I'm with you Tracy.....lucky children!!

Eeems said...

Marcey, having spend almost everyday of your first pregnancy with you, from peeing on sticks to holding Lily in the hospital less than a 24 hours after her birth, I truly understand the bond that you two have. Reading this letter left me teary-eyed. I miss you guys. Lily has grown up to be a beautiful little girl And I wish you nothing but the best of luck and love with the next addition to your family. I wish I could be there to hold Ben too. XOXO

Nicole said...

I am still in tears...what an amazingly beautiful letter to Lily. With Carson soon to arrive, it hit me how much life will never be the same....
You are such a wonderful mother and I'm so proud to know you !!!!

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